But of all the things my dad did for me, by far the greatest and most impactful was his consistent pursuit of the Lord in his own life. Everyday, when I would get up and go to the kitchen to get some breakfast, he was already in the next room with an open bible on his lap, praying. I never heard him say a word about his personal devotions, but I saw it with my own eyes on a daily basis. More importantly, over the course of my time in the home, I saw his progress in godliness.
In what way did that represent my dad doing something for me? The spiritual climate of a household is inevitably helped or hindered by the spiritual condition of the head of that household. Eve ate the fruit, among other reasons, because Adam was asleep at the wheel (Gen 3:6). When it came time to settle accounts, God said, “Where are you [masculine singular]?” (Gen 3:9). Not, “where are you [feminine singular]?” Or even, “where are y’all?”
The head of the household is responsible for leading his family to love the Lord above all things. This seems clear from Deuteronomy 6:5-9:
5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
All the second person pronouns in this passage are masculine singular. The head of the household is ultimately responsible for leading his family to love the Lord, teaching them the things of the Lord, talking about them day and night. This truth is reiterated in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
But Deuteronomy 6:5-6 shows that a man can’t lead where he himself is not going. To lead his family to love the Lord, he must love the Lord. The Word of God must be on his heart. A man trying to move his family to love the Lord without pursuing that destination himself is pointing, not leading. For a man to point rather than lead is not only to ignore the principles of Deut 6, but to show himself a hypocrite.
A man can either be the primary tool used by the Lord to move his family to greater devotion to God, or he can be the primary hinderance the Lord must overcome to move his family to greater devotion. His own personal devotional life and pursuit of Christ will be the crucial factor in determining which of those he will be. Pursuing and growing in Christ, he will be the major evidence of the trustworthiness of the Word and the faithfulness of Jesus. In the absence of any meaningful pursuit of and growth in Christ, he will be the primary sower of doubt in the hearts of his wife and children.
A man’s person fellowship with the Lord is the well from which will come the resources to lead his family. These resources include:
- The desire to lead (1 John 5:2-2; Psa 119:47)
- The biblical knowledge to teach (Psa 119:79; 1 Tim 4:6)
- The faith to persevere (Psa 119:50, 71)
- The wisdom to counsel (Psa 119:98-100)
- The credibility to be heard (Matt 7:16-20)
- The grace to be faithful (Psa 119:30-34)
My dad’s pursuit of, growth in, and dedication to the Lord created a spiritual climate in which I flourished as a young boy and young man. As is typical for young boys, my dad was a larger than life figure in my eyes. I wanted to be like him. Well, he wanted to be like Jesus. We were at church every time the doors were open because my dad wanted to worship and be with God’s people. I knew this wasn’t hollow ritual because of how he began everyday in that dimly lit room.
I knew the Bible was true and trustworthy, not simply because our pastors said it, but rather, because the primary influence in my life—my dad—read it first thing everyday of his life. Further, his decisions both large and small were guided by it. I knew that God was faithful, not just because of Bible lessons I heard at church, but because I watched my dad make sacrifices trusting in the Lord…and the Lord never let him down. I knew that Jesus is better than the world because I watched my dad uproot his life against all worldly wisdom to follow Him in His work. I knew that God is in control because my dad’s understanding of his own history and future course was described in terms of “what God is doing.”
May we as fathers take seriously the responsibility and joy given to us by our heavenly Father, and delight to be the primary tool He uses to move our families to love Him more. Most of us have failed in this regard at one time or another. Let us simply repent and follow Him going forward.
Others of us may have children who have already moved out of our homes, and we think, “It’s too late.” As long as we are still breathing, it is not too late. We must chase the Lord now and let them see our progress in Him from this day forward, whether they live with us or watch us from afar.
Others of us may have had fathers who completely missed the mark, or do not believe in Christ at all. It is appropriate to lament this, but let’s praise God that in his kindness He overcame that gap to make us His own.
For Father’s Day, let’s give our children the gift of our own pursuit of the Lord Jesus.
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