In an earlier post, Pastor Jason discussed five ways new members can connect at PBF. If you have not read that blog, I want to encourage you to do that now. If you’ve already read it, let me encourage you to read it again. It’s just that good! Even though his blog is directed toward newer members, his suggestions are helpful to all of us at PBF.
In this post, I want to shift the focus to the long-time members of PBF. Over the last several months we’ve seen quite an influx of new people. It’s an exciting time and we thank God for all that is happening here. However, the elders realize this growth can be quite intimidating. So in this post, I want to offer five ways long-time members of PBF can continue to connect with the newer folks, especially during our Sunday morning services.
1. Be Service-Minded
As a PBF vet, you know how things work. You know where things can be found and who to go to when you have a question. By virtue of your time at PBF, you have been particularly gifted to serve those who are new—to answer their questions, to point them in the right direction, or to help them acclimate to their surroundings.
Certainly, Sunday mornings are a time for God’s people to gather together to worship Him. But it is also during this time that we have an abundance of opportunities to serve others, not the least of which is searching for those who are new(er) to this fellowship and giving of ourselves in hospitality to them. The author of Hebrews tells us “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (13:1-2). Indeed, by serving others we serve Christ (Matthew 25:40).
One helpful question we might ask ourselves is—is there any sense in which I actively seek to serve others? I’m not necessarily talking about formal service (teaching Sunday School, running audio/video, etc.), what I’m talking about here is serving others in more informal and relatable ways. Maybe another question we could ask ourselves is—when it comes to church, am I more of a consumer or a contributor?
2. Search for Opportunities to Serve
Let’s think again about Sunday morning. You're sitting in your normal spot, talking to a few friends while you wait for the service to start when you notice a new couple sitting nearby. Oddly, however, no one else is around and no one is talking with them. Seconds turn into minutes and nothing changes. They are just there. Sitting. Alone.
In my humble opinion, this constitutes an emergency of the highest degree. I put this on the same level as a busted water pipe in the upstairs bathroom or a rattlesnake under my bed sheets. Immediate intervention is required!
I use the word search because it emphasizes being active rather than passive. It means making a concerted effort to be on the lookout for ways to serve and encourage others. In the example above, it would at least mean going and introducing yourself. Ideally, though, it would mean that rather than noticing a new couple sitting alone for a long period of time, we would be proactively looking for new folks to greet and welcome.
We may think that the only way we can serve in a meaningful way at church is to take on an official role or title. Nothing could be further from the truth. And I would argue that some of the most impactful, God-honoring, eternally-benefitting ministry is done informally.
3. Initiate interactions with those you don’t know.
Is it possible that you’ve not yet met the closest friend you’ll ever have? Is it possible that God will use you to make a great spiritual impact on someone’s life that you have not yet met?
It is possible.
But it begins with a first interaction. Will you be the one to initiate that interaction? A few suggestions for initiating interactions and conversations with others:
Arrive early.
Arrive early enough to greet folks as they arrive at church. A conversation with someone you just met doesn't need to last several minutes. Let them know your name, ask their names, and how they found out about PBF. Let them know you’re happy to answer any questions they may have.
Sit strategically.
Sit near first-time visitors and those you don’t know well. Use your seat as a tool to minister to those around you. Visitors may need help finding the nursery or accessing the bulletin on the church app, if so, make sure they know you’re there to help.
Dialogue intentionally.
After the service, it’s easy for our conversation to immediately move into the mundane or the events of the day. If this is the make up of our dialogue, we’ve missed an opportunity to encourage one another. Often, a specific comment about something we found interesting or convicting will prompt a fruitful conversation. Asking “Good sermon, huh?” may be met with “yeah”, but a more pointed comment such as “I never realized the extent of the restitution offering in Leviticus. What did you think of the full payment plus some?” may open the door for deeper discussion.
Unbusy your schedule.
Allow enough time after the service to talk with different people. If possible, enjoy lunch with a few folks. Treat Sunday afternoon as an extended time of gathering with the saints for the purpose of encouraging one another.
4. Break bread with people.
Sharing a meal with others—especially brothers and sisters in Christ and those we are trying to reach with the Gospel—is a great way to do more than just hang out. It is an opportunity to pursue deep friendship. During a meal (as opposed to a few minutes at church) we are free to draw out our conversations. It is a chance to ask questions and listen to those around the table. The actual meal itself isn’t nearly as important as the time and conversation we are able to have with one another.
Sharing a meal is a great way to demonstrate love towards others and to prefer them. If you are going out with someone, go where they would like to eat. If you’re having them over to your home, ask about allergies, their likes/dislikes, and prepare something with those things in mind. Again, it’s not about the extravagance of the food but the discussion and fellowship we are able to have.
Something my family has learned recently is that sharing a meal with two families or couples at the same time can be ideal. Not only do we get to know more new folks, but the other families/couples also get to know one another. In a real sense, it provides a greater opportunity for people to connect deeply. Nothing would thrill us more than two families beginning a lifelong friendship together at our kitchen table.
Another option is to tag-team with another family to host. We’ve found this helps divide the work. For example, one family can provide the host home and the other brings the food. Invite a family or two to join and voila!
5. Be part of a small group.
Home Fellowship Groups are a key way in which members of PBF connect with each other. In the membership class, we discuss in significant depth the importance of HFGs. These groups provide an informal atmosphere that fosters fellowship and relationship-building. If you have joined one and are still looking for ways to connect, find a PBF group that works with your schedule and interests. Growing Together Groups, Reveille, and PBF’s Bible studies are great ways to get to know others and to grow in your faith.
Lastly, don't neglect to attend Sunday School and the quarterly membership meetings. While these aren’t small groups, they are vital to PBF church life. Members and non-members alike are encouraged to attend the potluck dinners prior to the quarterly meetings–another great way to break bread with PBF folks. Actively participating in these things helps us stay connected with everything else that happens around here.
As a long-time PBF member, you have much to contribute to this fellowship. By sharing your life with others and engaging with them, you are doing the work of kingdom advancement. Now is the time to press into all that is going on at PBF. Now is the time to connect.
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