Our membership has grown quite a bit over the last few years. Now, we’ve voted to renovate our building to accomodate this growth and make room for a bit more. There may be any number of challenges associated with such growth. In a couple of articles, we’d like to address opportunities for spiritual growth that this season may represent for “introverts” and “extroverts.”
When we watch people interact socially, there seems to be a spectrum of tendencies. We often call the two ends of the spectrum “introversion” and “extroversion” with varying shades in between. I would argue that those labels are fine as long as we understand that what we’re really observing is different human tendencies that outside of the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit will be used for selfish ends. Conversely, when submitted to the Holy Spirit, no matter where we find ourselves on that spectrum, “the body [grows] so that it builds itself up in love” (Eph 4:16).
“Introversion” and life in the church. First, there is no biblical category of “introvert” or “extrovert.” Some have simply observed general tendencies among people and grouped them under these labels.
Second, these labels may be helpful if we use them as a kind of shorthand for generalizations that may not be true for absolutely everyone on that end of the social spectrum. When someone says, “I’m introverted,” they may use that statement as a shorthand way of saying a host of things like:
“I don’t naturally gravitate toward large groups of people or strangers.”
“I sometimes find it uncomfortable to initiate conversation.”
“Long stretches of socializing tend to tire me while solitude tends to recharge me.”
The label can be helpful in that one word can be used instead of fifty.
Third, a label like “introvert” is not helpful when one embraces it as an identity. Identifying as an introvert is problematic for at least a couple of reasons. First, every believer’s identity is in Christ (Gal 2:20). Second, to identify as an introvert may be to imply, “I cannot change. I am an introvert, and we’re all going to have to work around it.”
I need to recognize my tendencies and preferences, noting how they may impede my service to others. The fact is that there are elements of introversion that may prevent one from loving others well (just like there are elements of extroversion that may prevent one from loving others well).
For example, at Providence Bible Fellowship on any given Sunday, there are at least a handful of first time visitors. Most of us can remember what it is like to look for a church. It can be a very lonely season. One meaningful conversation with a member can make all the difference…not only in the ability to fairly evaluate a church, but also in the ability to worship freely. If I as a member am uncomfortable initiating conversations with people and I allow that to prevent me from doing so, who knows how many times over the years I may contribute to a visitor missing a wonderful time of worship? I will have habitually preferred myself at the expense of another.
Similarly, at any one time there are a number of people in the church who are on the periphery of church life. They are either hurting or they have not yet learned what it is really like to function well as a church member. If I gravitate toward my “safe people” rather than reach out to those on the periphery, I’m loving my own comfort to the detriment of my brother or sister in Christ. I’m contributing not only to my own stagnation, but also to that of the rest of the body.
One more example. Some of us would rather get a root canal than answer a question in Sunday School or pray out loud in front of people. However, it benefits the church to hear from more than three or four people in a class. Also, it blesses the congregation to hear a multitude call on the Lord in prayer. When I remain silent, it’s quite possible that someone goes unblessed by what I might have said or prayed.
So, if I am on the more introverted side of the spectrum, I ought to have an eye toward how the Lord might both use my tendencies and overcome my tendencies to be more useful to Him in the church. A key is to approach life with the church asking, “how can I love the people around me?”
Loving others means leveraging some of my tendencies for the good of others. If I tend toward solitude rather that socializing, private prayer may be my wheel house. I can pray for my brothers and sisters, sending texts both to check on them and to encourage them. I can also seek behind-the-scenes areas of service: taking meals to sick folks, hosting my Home Fellowship Group, volunteering for the grounds maintenance team, etc.
Loving others means overcoming some of my tendencies for the good of others. Loving others requires conversation. I should think, “I’m going to love that person by going to ask them questions, listen, and share with them about myself.” Though it makes me uncomfortable, I can love my church family by praying publicly at the prayer gathering. Though it’s “not me,” I can help others by sharing my thoughts in a Bible study or Sunday school. I can and should push myself to initiate coffees, lunches, etc with those who are on the periphery of the congregation.
How can we love others in line with what is comfortable for us and inspite of what is comfortable for us? As the church grows, we have more opportunities to serve, to love, to be like Christ. May we all make the most of them!
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