Far more important than harping on my sputtering Honda Accord, though, is tending to my marriage. Nineteen years ago to the date, I exchanged lifetime vows with my wife, Tabitha. We've weathered many seasons of "for better or for worse," "for richer or for poorer." God has kindly given us a host of circumstances to see how much our marriage depends on His Lordship—every moment of every day. On our scheduled date nights, we often reflect on how unhealthy our marriage would be without God's superabounding grace. We would never claim perfection (Between you and me, my wife is so much closer to the mark!), but we both agree the Lord has used a number of resources to help shape our marriage into what He expects (ref. Eph 5:22-33; cf. Col 3:18). It would be more accurate to say the Lord is still using these resources to help shape our marriage into a relationship pleasing to Him.
In hopes of being helpful to your own marriage maintenance, here are five resources that may serve as a "fuel stabilizer" for your marriage:
1. The Local Church
You thought this blog was all about books, didn't you?
I would argue that, apart from intentional study and application of God's Word, spending time with God's people—especially the seasoned couples at Providence Bible Fellowship (PBF)—has been more valuable than reading any book on marriage. If your marriage needs a tune-up, schedule a dinner with a mature Christ-exalting, Christ-pursuing couple and ask questions such as:
What has the Lord taught y'all about godly communication over the years?
How has the Lord moved y'all through seasons of strong disagreement?
What situations has the Lord used over the years to strengthen your marriage?
What about your spouse motivates you to pursue Christ with greater vigor?
How has your spouse helped you become a better parent?
In the coming years, what do you hope to work on to strengthen your marriage?
2. The Meaning of Marriage: A Vision for Married and Single People Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video
Sometimes one spouse just isn't into reading books together. This resource eases the tension. Based on Tim Keller's book, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, this video series distills the book's content into a series of videos without cutting corners on biblical insight. For busy evenings or to make the most of time with other couples, this study by Tim and Kathy Keller (and Spence Shelton) is well worth your time and money.
This resource is a book, but it's short. Robert Plummer and Matthew Haste have mined two thousand years of church history to compile fifty gospel-saturated devotionals. It's truly refreshing to see how sufficient the gospel has been for marriages navigating the cultural chaos of the past two millennia. This book may sound a little nerdy, but it will fill your heart with gratitude as you consider God's never-weakening faithfulness.
Add this book to the long list of helpful books by Paul David Tripp! It's readable. It's enjoyable. It's challenging. It's helpful. It's hopeful. Instead of reading a chapter at a time, this book is best digested in sections. This provides months of daily devotional material. Better yet, it fosters months of Christ-centered dialogue. This book has challenged me over the years to strive to be a godly husband, but even more, to become a more gospel-saturated human being. Of all the premarital books I assign, couples tell me this is the one they return to most once the knot is tied.
Some folks reading this blog may be newer to PBF. If that's you, you may not know that Pastor Greg wrote this marriage book based on a sermon series he preached years ago. Whether you check out the book or the sermons, your heart will be gently prompted to evaluate whether you are looking to your marriage for ultimate fulfillment. In my mind, it's a must-read—it's an obvious choice. By the way, save the date: March 19, 2027. That's all I'll say for now!
Comments