In the past we’ve spend quite a bit of time in Eph 4:22-24
on the biblical principle of putting off the old self (v22), being renewed in
the spirit of our minds (v23), and putting on the new self (v24). In this post we’ll look at how to apply
these principles to the sin of gossip, putting off and putting on both on the
behavior and heart levels.
Dealing with the
Tongue
Gossip could certainly be classified as a sin of the
tongue. As such, it has a number
of cousins – lying, slander, clamor, critical speech, insults, sarcasm,
ridicule, and harsh words. Eph
4:29 calls us to “let no corrupting talk
come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the
occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” So we are to put off gossip, and put on
edifying speech. It’s important to
note that if we have made gossip a habit, it will take much effort to rid
ourselves of it and make edifying speech a habit. However, because the Holy Spirit dwells within us, we can
make this change.
A first step in dealing with this sin of the tongue is to
identify what the Bible teaches about it.
We must have this information because it is the Word of God that
transforms our minds. Eph 4:29
itself is a great reference.
According to this verse, as a believer my speech is to be only
edifying. According to Rom 1:29,
gossip is a sin characteristic of the depraved mind. Other references could be used as well, but the idea is to
gather a collection of Biblical truths and either memorize these passages or
meditate on them. We need to use
God’s Word to help us think rightly about the sin of gossip. We also want to know these passages
well so that they are available to us prior to and in the moment of temptation. I
have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you (Psa
119:11).
Second, we must try to identify when and where we are most
often tempted to commit this sin.
Is it on Facebook, at our kids’ sporting events, at work, or at
church? Once we have identified
those trouble spots, we can prepare for temptation ahead of time. How do we prepare? Remember that Jesus spent 40 days in
the wilderness praying just prior to being tempted by the devil (Matt 4:1-11). He also exhorted His disciples to pray
in the Garden of Gethsemane that they might not enter into temptation (Matt26:41). We should follow their
example and use prayer to prepare.
It would be wise to pray about this at the beginning of each day, since
we never know for certain when temptation will come. Then as we are approaching a time and activity when we know
we will be tempted, we could pray again asking for the Lord’s help to be strong
and put off gossip and put on godly, edifying speech. It would be helpful to spend a minute meditating on those
passages that we have stored in our hearts for the occasion. We could also remind ourselves that
because we are in Christ, we have been freed from slavery to sin and have
become slaves to righteousness (Rom 6).
Third, when temptation finally comes we must decide not to
engage in ungodly speech and in the power of the Spirit engage in speech that
builds up instead. That may
require changing the subject completely, or it could involve saying something
positive about the subject or something encouraging to the listener. If we are successful in that moment, we
should glorify God and ask Him for help when the temptation comes again. If we fail, we should immediately
confess, repent, and ask the forgiveness of the Lord and whoever we were gossiping
with.
Our objective is to prepare for temptation as best we can
through prayer and bible meditation, strive to use godly speech, and get into
the pattern of immediately praising God for the success and repenting of the
failures. If this process becomes
a habit, eventually we will see the character of our speech changing
drastically. If those you come
into contact with hear you repeatedly asking for forgiveness for gossip, their
consciences will most likely become sensitive to the issue, too. You will be creating an atmosphere
where gossip is not welcome and edifying speech is the norm. Praise God for that.
Dealing with the Heart
Now, if we only deal with gossip at the behavior level, we
will not adequately deal with the issue.
We can’t only address the fruit and not the root. Jesus taught in Matt 12:34, For out of the abundance of the heart the
mouth speaks. Likewise, in
Mark 7:21-22, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual
immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality,
envy, slander, pride, foolishness.”
In our time in the Sermon on the Mount, we noted that Jesus was
concerned that His disciples would apply God’s Word at the level of the
heart. For example, abstaining
from the physical act of adultery did not make one innocent before God: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at
a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28).
Clearly, if we want to remove the sin of gossip from our
lives, we must deal with the heart motive behind it. So what is at the heart of gossip? Most often it will be some form of pride. What would cause me to talk
disparagingly about someone else or to talk about the sins of someone
else? A low view of my own
sin. You will never see someone
experiencing godly grief about their own sin while throwing stones at
others. Isn’t this the heart of
the Lord’s teaching regarding hypocritical judgment in Matthew 7:1-5?
1 "Judge not,
that you be not judged.
2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matt 7:1-5)
2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matt 7:1-5)
This obsession with the sins of others is remedied by
developing a realistic view of my own sin. There are several ways to do this. First, meditating on the gospel reminds me of the magnitude
of my sin. God’s forgiveness of my
sin was only made possible by the death and resurrection of His Son. I couldn’t redeem myself no matter how
hard I tried. Second, healthy
introspection – examining myself for areas of my life where I am harboring sin
– is an essential part of keeping my sin in perspective. Those of you who were at the Bible
conference know that examining yourself for manifestations of pride can lead to
a heaviness and grief over sin that can only be relieved by reflecting on the
cross. An awareness of how far I
still have to go toward Christlikeness will leave me far less likely to focus
on and talk about the sins of others.
Third, beyond identifying sin, I must be actively seeking to kill
it. This too reminds me of the
long road of sanctification I have ahead.
I believe there is another heart issue underneath gossip: a
lack of love for the body. Love for
a brother or sister will lead me to address their sin with them alone (Pro27:6; Matt 18:15-17). Love will
lead me to keep that situation to myself (Pro 11: 13). It is then a lack of love that leads me
to discuss the sin of a brother or sister with others, or to disparage them
behind their backs. So how do I
remedy this? Again, meditating on the
gospel is a helpful tool. It
reminds me that Christ gave His blood for my brothers and sisters in Christ
just like He did for me. His work
on the cross served to unite us with one another (Eph 4:1-16).
Second, Paul teaches that it is through serving one another
that the body “builds itself up in love” (Eph 4:16). If this is true, what better way to grow in my love for my
brothers and sisters in Christ than to selflessly serve them any way I
can?
Third, we are called to pray for one another (Eph 6:18; Jas5:16). We encourage our members to
pray through the membership directory on a regular basis. This is a good way to make their
concerns our concerns and to care for them.
Though gossip can get a strong grip on us, God has given us
the resources to deal with this sin.
We just need to make sure that we are dealing with both the fruit and
the root. May the Lord grant us
the grace to make strides toward Christlikeness in this area.
Posted by Greg Birdwell
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