From the very earliest pages of the Bible, it is clear that
God has designated men to be the spiritual leaders of their homes. Several
features of the text of Genesis 2 indicate that this was God’s design from before the Fall. For example: the man was
created before the woman (Gen 2:7, 15-17; cf. 1 Tim 2:11-13); the woman was
made for the man (Gen 2:18; cf. 1 Cor
11:9); the woman was made from the
man (Gen 2:21-22; 1 Cor 11:8); and the man named the woman, not once but twice
(Gen 2:23, 3:20).
Each of these features of the Genesis 2 narrative reveals a
clear difference of role between the man and the woman. From the beginning man
was called to bear the responsibility of headship, while the wife was called to
be the man’s perfectly suitable helper. Male spiritual leadership in the
home is God’s original ideal.
I am so thankful that at Providence Bible Fellowship this
theology is accepted as the norm. There
are many churches in the world where it is not. Our membership embraces what has been called
complementarianism – the view that God has created both men and women in His image,
equal in status before God and in importance to the family and church, but
distinct in role. Men are to lead
in the family and church, and women are to help them. This is widely accepted in our local body.
But there is a big difference between believing the right
things and living the right things.
It may be the case that we all agree wholeheartedly that God has woven a
complementarian structure into the family, but that does not automatically mean
that our homes reflect it. In
fact, if there is one thing that I hear consistently from men and women in our
congregation about their homes, it is that this ideal of male spiritual
leadership is not being lived out.
I frequently hear from men that they know they are called to lead their
families and that they want to but
that they are not doing it well. I also frequently hear from women that they long for spiritual leadership from their
husbands, but that it simply isn’t happening.
So what is the problem? It may be that in some cases there are men who simply don’t
want to lead or for whom it is uncomfortable, but it seems that the most common
issue is that they simply don’t know how.
Most men have not been raised in homes where this was modeled for them
by a father figure. Additionally,
it is an area of discipleship that has been all but ignored by the church in
recent decades. Consequently, we
have several generations of men in the church who have the strong conviction
that God calls them to lead but who aren’t leading or who aren’t leading well because they just don’t know what
that leadership should look like in everyday life. Typical questions that men wrestle with include:
·
What is spiritual leadership? What does it look like?
·
Should a man’s leadership in his wife’s life
look different than his leadership in his children’s lives?
·
Should man’s leadership of his children change
as they get older?
·
Are there certain tasks or activities associated
with spiritual leadership, specific things that a man should be doing on a
regular basis?
·
Why doesn’t this just come naturally to a
Christian man?
·
Are there any helpful resources out there, like a
“Spiritual Leadership for Dummies”?
·
How does God’s Word equip a man for this?
We need to be trained for this. For that reason, we are going to begin what could be thought
of as a spiritual leadership boot camp for the men of PBF early next year. Our objective will be to answer the
above questions so thoroughly that everyone knows exactly what spiritual
leadership is and how to do it, and we’ll be working together to implement
these principles in our homes. The
training will run for eight consecutive Saturdays beginning on February 7 and
going through March 28. We’ll
gather together each Saturday morning from 7-8:30.
Men, if you love your families, put this on the calendar now
and make a commitment to come. You
may already have things squared away in your home – that’s great – you can come
and mentor others who have yet to begin the journey. Women, if you love your families, encourage your husbands to
make this a priority and do what you can to free them up for those eight
Saturdays. These could be the most
consequential two months ever for the spiritual health of your home.
There will be more details to come in the next few
months. But right now, while you’re
thinking about it, get out the calendar.
Seriously, right now. Jot
down (or type in) “spiritual leadership boot camp” every Saturday AM (7a-8:30a)
from Feb 7 to Mar 28. I’m praying
for 100% participation. Will you
pray, too?
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