As I’ve listened to people talk and as I’ve read people’s
thoughts regarding all the violence that has taken place in the last couple of
weeks, both the shootings of the two African American men and the shootings of
the police officers in Dallas and Baton Rouge, I’ve noticed something largely
missing from all the communication: a willingness to hear before making a
judgment. It seems to me that this
has been taking place at all levels of society, government, and sadly, the
church. So I’d like to just offer
a brief, loving reminder of some biblical principles that we are all aware of
but that we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
If one gives an answer
before he hears, it is his folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
To make a judgment, to size up a situation, to decide who is
right and who is wrong before hearing
from all sides is foolish and shameful.
Why? Only a fool makes a
decision based upon a fraction of the available information. This is patently obvious when you think
about it in everyday terms. What
if the engineers at GE built aircraft engines without looking at 75% of their
testing data? All kinds of things
could go wrong, from inefficient use of fuel to squandered profitability to the
potential loss of lives. Who on
earth would hold those engineers harmless for such carelessness? They would be regarded as fools at best, murderers at worst.
Likewise, only a fool would try to build a house with only
half of the dimensions? Only a
fool would try to skydive having received only a third of the instruction.
But we use that same essential methodology all the time in
our relationships at work, home, church, and on social media when forming and
expressing thoughts and opinions.
We make judgments, definitive statements, and weighty decisions
possessing only part of the available information. And yet we know not only from Proverbs 18:13, but also from
our own experience that it is best to withhold judgment until you have all the
information. If required, each of
us could come up with many instances when we’ve made hasty statements,
judgments, or decisions only to receive information later that showed us to be
completely wrong. If we continue
this practice in spite of so much personal data showing that it is folly, what
can be said of us but that we are shameful fools?
Regarding recent events, it seems that many are concerned
primarily with being heard rather than hearing others. Implicitly, we are declaring to those
at whom we are shouting, “there is only one perspective here – mine! There is only one side to this story!” This too violates a biblical principle
found just a few short verses below Proverbs 18:13:
The one who states his
case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. (Proverbs
18:17)
Who has not had this experience, too? You hear one side of a story and the
details paint such a clear picture that a definitive conclusion seems
obvious…until you hear the other side.
I have experienced this phenomenon too many times to count as I have
counseled couples. The first to
speak always seems right.
Always. As I listen to the
first spouse talk, I routinely begin to think, “My soul, he’s/she’s married to
a monster.” But then spouse #2
speaks, and always, the picture
shifts to a more balanced situation in which there is some fault or
misunderstanding on both sides.
It’s not that this happens a lot of the time, or most of the time, or
even the vast majority of the time.
Every time. It happens every single time. That’s because there is a biblical
principle at work there. In any
situation in which there is more than one person involved, there will be more
than one side.
When we hear or read a news story, we have heard one
side. When we hear an eyewitness,
we have heard one side. When we
hear a police officer, we have heard one side. When we hear the President, we have heard one side.
The person who arrives at a settled conclusion without
hearing all sides is a fool.
That’s the Bible talking.
That person is a fool whether it is the President of the United States
or the pastor of a small, Midwestern Baptist church. We, as people of the Bible, even if we do so alone, must
follow biblical principles when interacting with those around us. This is part and parcel of existing as
salt and light in the world. It
takes great discipline and care in moments of high emotion to stop and remind
ourselves, “I don’t have all the facts, yet. By God’s grace, I need to slow down here and withhold
judgment.”
The wise lay up
knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near. (Proverbs 10:14)
Perhaps as believers our first inclination should be to just
listen for a season, rather than
launching salvos before we have even a fraction of the information necessary to
speak wisely. By doing this, we’ll
honor God, and we’ll be much more likely to eventually having something worth
saying.
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