We wanted so badly for the Lord to give Hilda more time, more years. We prayed fervently to that end. She suffered so well, consistently clinging to the Lord and pointing us to Jesus that it seemed to me hers was the perfect case in which the Lord could bring Himself maximum glory by also granting physical healing. I was so hopeful that He would, not only because I wanted us all to continue knowing and enjoying Hilda, but also because I wanted to see Him magnified. With her passing, I initially struggled with the Lord’s course.
But Hilda helped me. She wrote something on Friday, July 6 that I was blessed to read this week. Hilda wanted to be healed, but more than that she wanted the people around her to know the blessedness of salvation through Jesus. She wanted them to know that He is good…all the time. She was willing to suffer illness and death if that meant others would see Him more clearly. Here is an excerpt of what she wrote:
“As I was driving home yesterday and I was listening to a Christian radio station someone called to say she was cancer free. She said, ‘God is good.’ Yes, He is good. But 3 months or years from now, will she still proclaim His goodness?
I’m not sure about my future/health…I want to praise Him on the good, but just as much on the bad…It’s easy when all is well, but when troubles come we can become afraid and desperate. So we must live out our faith daily!”
No one questions God’s goodness during easy times. Occasionally, He gives us the opportunity to know and show His goodness, His sufficiency during difficulty. It was Hilda’s privilege to do this. Throughout the pain and uncertainty, praise for the Lord was on her lips. She demonstrated that He is good in sickness and death.
Psalm 63:3 reads, Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. I’m so grateful to have read this sentiment throughout Hilda’s last months. Hilda was not afraid to die. Why? His love is better than life. Jesus is better than life. She was certain of this. Now, she’s all the more certain.
How can we second-guess this course, which has shown a woman praising Jesus from diagnosis to final breath? He has been maximally glorified in her suffering and death. May He be glorified as we cling to His goodness in mourning.
I look forward to remembering Hilda and magnifying Jesus with you at her memorial service on Saturday.