It isn’t supposed to be this way!
The wayward child. The estranged spouse. The sour report from the oncologist. The suicidal peer. The house fire. The slanderous words of a close friend. The grievous failure of a spiritual mentor.
What would “your friend” add to the list?
There are undoubtedly more than a handful of issues (inconsequential to upholding the gospel) that Christians disagree on—hopefully with ample grace. Experiencing the consequences of the Fall fails to be one of those issues. “There is a darkness in this world that inevitably presses hard on us all,” remarks Scott Christensen, “leaving an indelible mark of pain and suffering” (What About Evil: A Defense of God’s Sovereign Glory, 1). The 19th century tenderhearted yet lion-like bishop of Liverpool, J.C. Ryle, would have us consider:
that every part of the world bears testimony to the fact that sin is the universal disease of all mankind. Search the globe from east to west and from pole to pole—search every nation of every clime in the four quarters of earth—search every rank and class in our own country from the highest to the lowest—and under every circumstance and condition, the report will always be the same. The remotest islands in the Pacific Ocean, completely separate from Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, beyond the reach alike of oriental luxury and western arts and literature—islands inhabited by people ignorant of books, money, [modern energy sources], and gunpowder—uncontaminated by the vices of modern civilization—these very islands have always been found, when first discovered, the abode of the vilest forms of lust, cruelty deceit, and superstition. If the inhabitants have known nothing else, they have always known how to sin (Holiness, 13).
Barely creasing a Bible, Genesis 3 floods this reality upon our thinking. Sinfully gaining access to good and evil plunged humanity into downward-spiraling experiences of a cursed creation, guilt-laden retreat, relational enmity, pain, loathsome labor, debarment from a land of rest, not to mention physical and spiritual death. This multiplied into chaotic and compromised worship, anger, murder, and, well, as Moses pens it prior to the Flood: the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually (Gen 6:5). Would a flood consummately clean house? Not exactly. Corruption through fraudulent desire became the bitter rhythm of life. Lying, stealing, speaking shamefully and slanderously, and barbaric exhibitions of man’s twisted wrath permeate the pages of both Old and NewTestaments. Bitterness was widespread—that deep-seated, me-against-you, forgiveness-withholding posture that doubts God’s providential goodness and aggressively spreads trouble and defilement to others through unbridled thoughts and/or actions rising from resentment-escalating unmet expectations. (I know that’s a mouthful! But it’s all really important.)
But we missed something.
Don’t neglect to pull the emergency break at Genesis 3:15 and 3:21. To do so would be to overlook the hope of the One who would come to overwhelm the enemy with a head-striking blow. To do so would be to miss a lavishing display of God’s grace upon two unworthy image-bearers.
And I argue that to miss these truths is to miss the rescue from the currents of bitterness damaging many lives today. Christ-followers live in a broken world with broken people who operate under broken pretenses aiming to acquire broken goals that yield broken circumstances, but are never beyond the bounds of a providentially brilliant God! In other words: life is broken. People hurt us and we hurt people, but God brings the fullness of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.
First up, Genesis 3:15 (cf. Rev 12):
I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.
This grand seed of Good News comes on the heels of hell’s widening doors, in which hope will not be refused. No matter how subtle the enemy’s tactics throughout centuries of faith and rebellion, a vital blow with eternal significance would take place. And it did.
John 12:31 (all emphases mine) - Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler be cast out (cf. Jn 12:27-36)
John 16:11b - …the ruler of this world is judged.
Colossians 2:15 - [Christ] disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.
Hebrews 2:14 - Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is the devil.
1 John 3:8b - The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.
Paul in Romans 6 moves this reality onto the pavement of everyday life by explaining how Christ’s crucifixion enveloped the unrepentant soul, so that through faith in Christ alone the believer is released from the shackles of sin’s enslavement. Translation: Christians are free! They have been brought from death to life and are not subject to sin’s regime. They have the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwelling in them (Rom 8:11), which means steering life toward joyful obedience is not only necessary but possible.
Christ came to disarm the rulers and authorities. Check. And what of the death that came through sin (Rom 5:12)? Take a tour through 1 Corinthians 15:12-28. It doesn’t disappoint!
The grace of hoping is not a coping technique, at least not in the way “coping” tends gets thrown around in worldly conversation—just getting by until the next fleeting sense of relief or satisfaction. No, biblical hoping is confidence in—perhaps more accurately a hoping toward—God’s promises. It’s movement in the direction of biblical realities we know by faith are or will be realized.
And so the hope of Genesis (and all of the Old Testament) is the coming One to rescue. He came. His coming led to fulfilling the disarming work for which He came. He gloriously conquered. He ascended and now reigns at the Father’s right hand (Heb 10:12), ever living to make intercession for all the Father gave to Him (Heb 7:25; John 6:35-40). He will return (Heb 9:28). Eyes will be tearless, except perhaps with drops of exuberance that God is dwelling with man forever and without sin, suffering, and death—as it was always supposed to be (Rev 21:4).
Where is confidence when hurts become short ditties of resentment moving the bitter soul toward endless and exhausting songwriting? Is it not suppressed under an Esau-like hatred (Gen 25:29ff) or a Naomi-turned-Mara perception of God and His wise providence (Ruth 1-2)? Bitterness cannot be remediated apart from relationship with the One who was promised to come, came, lived, died, rose, ascended, rules, and will soon return renewing and restoring with the intensity of a hunting lion. The embittered believer has much knee-work ahead of him, praying earnestly for God to cure a heart polluted by ungodly thoughts, corrupt valuations, and commitments toward self-gratification.
Enter Genesis 3:21: And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.
Not only did Adam’s rebellion give rise to God inserting the calm confidence of a Rescuer to come (Gen 3:15), but the giving of underserved care flooded the once-bleak predicament. Surely Adam and Eve experienced intimately what the King David would pen many generations later: He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities (Ps 103:10). They instead encountered God’s benevolent movement toward them, not justified departure. Without discounting the consequences of their actions (consider the surrounding verses), this portion of Scripture emphasizes God’s parental love for His own—covering their shame with His provision. Blame-shifting and hiding couldn’t keep God’s love from shattering the guilt and shame that had overtaken the blushing pair. Notice this: at no point in the text did Adam and Eve ask for a raincheck or time to consider other remedial options. The writing was on the wall. They were guilty and they knew it. The serpent knew it. God knew it. And God moved into the chaos with forgiveness and healing. They received it.
This begs the question: when hearts know their own bitterness (Prov 14:10), what is the resultant fruit (Matt 15:19-20a)? When a relationship turns bitter, do we clamor and slander (Eph 4:31)? Or perhaps we lean the other way and press the pain down deep by failing to address a fault (Lk 17:3), eventually collapsing under the weight of harboring an ever-expanding, relationship-destroying root of bitterness (Heb 12:15; cf. Deut 29:16-29). Both extremes are characterized by a lack of forgiveness—likely both in understanding and application. Both extremes point in the direction of inordinate desires and unmet expectations. Both extremes cause trouble—by it many become defiled (Heb 12:15). Left alive (Rom 8:13) and inevitably nurtured, even apostasy is not a far-removed possibility (Heb 12:15-17). May it never be, dear friend—never.
The Holy Spirit uses Paul to issue the antidote to overcoming bitter rhythms (Eph 4:31-32). The leeches of wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice that suction to broken relationships and circumstances meet their demise in kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. This reflects what God has done in Christ to forgive the bitterest saint. The gospel narrative cultivates tenderheartedness that must express itself in kindness. Forgiveness turns sullen saints away from replays of past circumstances and looks forward to the joy of extending forgiveness to the offender. The script flips from, “Lord, didn’t you see what she did to me?” to “Lord, please give me the joy of being restored to the one who is repentant of their sin. May there may be a humble and mutual pursuit (Matt 5:23-24; 18:15) in which there is gain and not loss.” This posture of heart also leans into the prospect of meaningful inquiry and excavation of hypocrisy (Matt 7:3-5). It could be true that the embittered person’s inward passions (James 4:1-12) are a more consequential hindrance than the bitter circumstance ceaselessly rehearsed. And let’s not forget the typically-accompanying embellishments.
The greatest need in killing the sin of bitterness is not categorizing offenses and prioritizing who will receive the first phone call or knock on the door (this should occur wisely at some point down the road). Rather, the greatest need is cultivating commitment to gospel-mindedness. (This encompasses the principles on display in this post.) God’s forgiveness in Christ toward hell-bound sinners woos (yes, woos!) the recipient to dismiss self-serving expectations and adopt liberating enslavement to identity and purpose in Christ. Values shift dramatically. Renewed choices begin producing the fruit of preferring and serving others like wildfire. Even when an unrepentant party dismisses an appeal to reconcile, the gospel-committed soul learns to lament in ways that result in greater trust in God’s providential hand in all of life’s affairs (Ps 13, 73, 77). Joseph knew his brothers’ depravity was God’s mechanism for bringing about a greater good (Gen 50:15-21). The sulking special for one was not on the menu, but trust in God’s good purposes was. Joseph had a Godward perspective on trouble, and it moved him away from himself to comfort and show kindness to those who could have been used by the enemy to breed bitterness in his heart.
The taste of bitterness is a gift, as odd as that may seem. If bitterness registers upon your conscience, God is alerting you to pursue hope and help in Jesus Christ. Praise God for granting such sensitivity. But do not delay. Do not neglect the grace of God. Today is the day to commit to the honor of Christ, clinging to His promises, His providence, and His use of His people to bear this burden with you and gently restore you to the joy only found in Him. Bitterness brings one to a crossroads. Will the path of self-importance and self-implosion hold you captive or by God’s grace will you run to Him in humble reliance?
To lovingly sway the timid soul in the direction of requesting help (click HERE for more information about the biblical counseling ministry of Providence Bible Fellowship), allow this affectionate chain of questions to chip away any reluctance:
Can I see death and suffering with razor-sharp edges of lucidity, feel them with suitable empathy (Heb 13:3), and draw near with tears of compassion, laden with riches of quiet hope, precisely because of God’s providence and not in spite of it? Do I taste and see the wisdom and power and goodness of God in his all-embracing providence in such a way that I bring unshakable hope, irreversible healing, and the steadying ballast of truth for the stormy voyage to heaven?
Will I come to know this God, whose way is perfect, with such depth and intimacy that the pervasiveness of his providence over suffering and sin will be for me—and through me—a rock, a shield, a staff, a balm, a bed, a treasure, and a joy? Will I look more resolutely at the cross of Christ, where the worst human sins and the greatest divine love came together with perfect justice and mercy by the plan and hand of providence (Acts 4:27-28)? Will I realize that without this all-embracing providence, there is no gospel? And so will I rejoice and be glad that the providence of God governs everything (John Piper, Providence, 509)?