A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28)
I recently came across a device called “the Brick,” which temporarily removes distracting apps and notifications from your phone. It’s similar to an app from years ago which had a similar purpose. That app was ironically named, “Self-Control.” It seems there is a huge market for “hacks” designed to provide a short cut to that particular biblical virtue. The problem is that hacks can’t hack the heart.
The New Testament term self-control is defined as the ability to regulate one’s behavior.[1] Many things that we enjoy in moderation are good things, but done excessively can lead to evil. A person without self-control is one who is unable to control the impulse to go beyond moderation into excess.
Proverbs 25:28 has something interesting to tell us about the person with no self-control: he is like a city broken into and left without walls. To our modern minds, this might not make much sense, but those familiar with the OT and the ancient world understand the importance of having walls around a city. Walls were a city’s first line of defense. They were the greatest obstacles to that city being taken and plundered by the enemy.
The Lord of the Rings aficionados can picture the principle well. As long as the walls held out, there was hope for the good guys to survive. But once the walls were breached, things turned ugly in a hurry. After destroying the walls, the enemy could pour in and overwhelm the inhabitants of the city.
So how is a person without self-control like a city broken into and left without walls? To say that he is vulnerable to attack would be an understatement. It would be more accurate to say he is inviting attack. Attack by whom? The enemy and sin. Without self-control he is inviting attack because he is easy prey, low-hanging fruit. When attack comes, he is unable to withstand it.
Many of the sin problems we have are the fruit of a lack of self-control. Drunkenness, gluttony, and laziness all come from an inability to regulate one’s behavior. But there are other things we do that might also point to a lack of self-control. How about “doomscrolling”? Do you spend more time looking at your smartphone than at the people you love? What about over-spending, living beyond your means? Habitual indulgence in almost anything could qualify. If we see things like these in our lives, there is most likely an underlying issue – we lack self-control.
At its core, a lack of self-control is a desire to seek ultimate satisfaction in less-than-ultimate things. A moderate amount of something fails to satisfy so we pursue more and more of it. But it’s like trying to fill up on cotton candy; it’s not going to work. Without self-control we are susceptible to chasing after any number of lesser things. An inordinate amount of one thing doesn’t satisfy so we try an inordinate amount of something else. As a result enemy is able to pick us apart.
From where does self-control come? It just happens to be part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23), so ultimately it is produced by God’s power in the lives of true believers. Yet, as with all obedience, we have a responsibility in its production as well. So what kind of Spirit-empowered steps should we take?
First, we need to think rightly about true satisfaction. The psalmist said it perfectly, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you…in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psa 16:2, 11). We must train ourselves to think rightly about the satisfaction that is in the Lord. He alone can satisfy the human soul. The things of this world are a paltry substitute for the fulfillment found in Him. We must begin to tell ourselves that every time we are tempted to indulge in something sinful or over-indulge in something good.
Second, we must pursue enjoyment of Him. We should take the psalmist at his word, and “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psa 34:8). That entails spending time with Him in the Word (reading, studying, meditating), in prayer, and in meaningful fellowship with His church.
Third, we must seek to cut off those things that are carrying us away. Jesus recommended extreme measures: “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away” (Matt 5:29). Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely…(Heb 12:1). If we have trouble saying no to a certain activity, we should cut off all association with it, and concentrate on learning to desire Jesus more than anything else.
Fourth, we must regularly meditate about how the gospel addresses the issue. Those who are in Christ have been saved from the penalty of sin and have also been given the ability to walk in faithfulness (Rom 6). The Lord Jesus died to save us and transform us into His image (Rom 8:28-30). Therefore, it is incumbent upon true believers to live lives characterized by self-control (1 Cor 9:25; 1 Tim 2:9, 15; 2 Tim 1:7; Titus 2:2,5, 6, 12; 1 Pet 4:7; 2 Pet 1:6).
Fifth, we must obey! All of the above references assume this truth. We must believe the truth about God, the gospel, and our salvation…and obey.
By God’s grace, we can cultivate self-control. And like the walls around a city, self-control will have a fortifying effect on our ability to resist temptation and pursue godliness.
[1]Louw-Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the NT, 88.94.
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