It is not uncommon (especially, in my line of work!) to talk to people who are depressed or disillusioned because life isn’t or hasn’t quite turned out as they expected or hoped. What would the Scriptures have us think and do if we find that the script we wrote for ourselves is not the one our life is following?
There can only be one truly sovereign planner in existence…and it is not us.
Proverbs 19:21 reads, Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. We all have all kinds of plans. Yet, Proverbs juxtaposes our plans with those of the Lord. Among other distinctions between ours and His is that His always come to pass and ours do not. This is because He is sovereign and we are not. Our plans may stand as long as they align with His will. However, because our hearts don’t always desire His will and because we are imperfectly wise…our plans do not always coincide with His. For that reason, we would be hard-pressed to find even a handful of people who could say, “Yes, my life is turning out exactly as I’d hoped.”
Because we serve a sovereign God, we should actually expect many of our plans to fail. Yet, rather than despairing, we will be comforted by this if we understand some other crucial truths about God…
God is wiser than we are. That should be obvious when we understand that all wisdom comes from God:
Proverbs 2:6: For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
James 1:5: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
We could think of wisdom as that attribute which equips one to achieve the best ends possible by the best means possible. That’s a potent characteristic when combined with God’s sovereignty. He is going to do the best thing in our lives by the best means possible in our lives…and He’s going to do it without fail because He is sovereign. These things will always work out for our benefit because of a second characteristic of God…
He loves us better than we love ourselves. Our natural, fallen, self-love makes much of the world and leads us away from Him. Many of us are familiar with Romans 8:28-30, which combines God’s sovereignty with His wisdom and love. It reads, And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
It’s important to note that this guarantee that everything will work out for good pertains explicitly to those who love God and who are called by God. That is, believers.
What is true of believers, according to Romans 8:28-30? God forces all circumstances to do them the good of conforming them to the image of Christ. That we would be like Jesus is the best eventuality possible. It is pleasurable to be like Jesus. It is way better than the things we want for ourselves, the things that our own plans tend to prioritize. God knows this and so out of love, He frequently denies us the lesser things we want/plan for ourselves and works to give us this better thing, Christlikeness.
Frequently, our plans changing is a way that God forces us to consider what really matters. And what really matters is Him. Contrary to popular belief, life isn’t about shooting for the stars, achieving your goals, or making your dreams come true. In fact, those ideals are often tools of the devil to lead people directly to the places of despair. Depression and despair are just as likely to come from achieving your plans as from not achieving your plans.
Here is life, straight from the mouth of Jesus of Nazareth: “This is life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom He has sent” (John 17:3). Our wise God forsees that the acheivement of our dreams/plans could prevent us from knowing Him and Christ as we would if our plans failed. Out of love and wisdom, He then diverts us to something better: Himself.
My disappointment with my failed plans will continue as long as I fail to want something different. Said another way, the greatest counsel in such a case is to chase after Jesus as the greatest and highest joy of THIS life and the next. When you do that, you will always get him.
Jesus said to the woman at the well in John 4, whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. What water is He talking about? Likely, the water of John 7:37-38: On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'"
Similarly, in John 6:35, Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. Tremendous satisfaction comes to the person who comes to Christ as the answer to his or her thirst for life. The person who hopes in Jesus will never despair because HE is all-satisfying and He can’t be taken away from us. He is the great good toward whom the Father would lead us.
To that end, the Psalmist penned Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. If you delight yourself in the Lord, He will be your desire. And you’ll get all of Him you could ever want. When we despair over unfulfilled plans, the remedy is Jesus.
Practically, how does a person begin to desire Jesus?
First, pray for it. This is the great ministry of the Holy Spirit, who dwells in us. He is eager to reveal more of the Lord Jesus to us.
Second, spend time with people who love Jesus above all things. We can identify these people by what they talk about. We need to spend time with people who talk about Jesus all the time. Be honest and tell them why you want to hang out with them. “I want to spend time with you because you seem to love Jesus more than I do and I want to love Jesus above all things.”
Third, spend time with Jesus in the Word. The Gospels are a great place to start because He is most obvious there. Dwell on His character and work there, thinking particularly about how He has loved you in the ways He is depicted loving others. Certainly, move out to the epistles and other parts of Scripture as well. And read it prayerfully…
Fourth, find good resources that push Jesus. Podcasts, books, sermons. Desiring God is a great source of this kind of thing.
In short, the antidote to depression over unfulfilled plans is: (1) to recognize the attributes of God that make His plans better, and (2) to desire the highest good that He has already promised—fellowship with and likeness to Jesus.
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