Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
Titus 2:2, ESV
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
Theodore Roosevelt
Defining old age from the New Testament is challenging. Zechariah, John the Baptist’s father, labeled himself an old man when arguing the probability of John’s birth (Luke 1:18). He would have been at least fifty years old at this time. When calling for Philemon’s reception of Onesimus—a fugitive-turned-Christian—the apostle Paul identified himself as an old man, being at least sixty years old (Phlm 9). Acts 3-4 records Peter and John healing a lame man and then being threatened for proclaiming the gospel. The man healed was considered older, being “more than forty years old” (Acts 4:22).
Forty? Fifty? Sixty? Which is it? Is the requirement gray hair or no hair? Lest I cause division in the church, I dare not answer!
What I do know is that older Christian men should not just occupy space in the local church. Instead, they should model Christian virtues in ways that help others spiritually. Specifically, young men need older men to look up to. (I recognize that literal age and spiritual maturity are part of this discussion. A younger man might be more spiritually mature than an older man. But for our purposes, assume we are referring to older, believing men pursuing younger men in age.)
Widening the scope, we know that the local church consists of many members, all essential and commanded to “have the same care for one another” (1 Cor 12:12-31). This means an older “foot” needs a younger “hand.” Younger “eyes,” need older “ears.” (We Christians seem to have an odd vocabulary!) When the “body” of Christ functions united in the gospel, this command is upheld: Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27, emphasis mine). Without dividing by ages and genders, the call for corporate intentionality is clear.
Roughly one chapter later in Philippians, Paul mentions a young man he invested in or discipled—Timothy: But you know Timothy’s proven worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel (Phil 2:22, emphasis mine). Titus and Onesimus also benefitted from Paul’s discipleship efforts (Titus 1:4; Phil 10). Paul correctly viewed discipleship as helping others follow Jesus rightly in knowledge and conduct (Titus 1:1). When Paul first met Timothy, he was already a believer (Acts 16:1-5). Acts 16:2 tells us: He was well spoken of by the brothers at Lystra and Iconium. Naturally, the ministry-focused Paul welcomed Timothy, and together they built up many churches. Both Titus and Onesimus were led to Christ by Paul and served in meaningful ways. The key point is: Paul deliberately invested in both those who were lost and those who were saved. He looked for men who needed a Savior, boldly proclaimed the gospel, and trusted God with the results. For those who believed, Paul worked to strengthen their faith. When God entrusted him with men who had already accepted Christ, he aimed to enhance their spiritual growth. These efforts encouraged and supported many churches in essential ways.
If we consider the lower end of what qualifies as an “older man,” I’m already there—40. Besides my role as a vocational elder, I’m aware of the fleeting life I’ve been given. As a Christian man, I now more than ever see my need to reach out to young men who are lost, hoping they embrace Christ as Lord. I am more driven these days to find young men whose faith I can help mature.
I’m sure I’m not the only one.
While many “how-to” guides are available, I want to invite other older, Christian men to consider Titus 2:2: Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Amidst the presence of false teachers, Paul directed Titus to stay in Crete to establish strong leadership in infant churches and encourage Christian living among believers—a premium set on godly, older men. The focus in this text is on character, not necessarily service. This is an important point, because fruitful service flows from a vibrant identity. Effort is required. Strenuous, day-and-night, joyful, and heart-wrenching effort is required. (This would be a good time to read Acts 20:17-38.) But character reflects the heart—the real us (thoughts, motives, and commitments). From the heart we live, so identity dictates our doing. Behavior follows belonging. This is why Paul could say with confidence: Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ (1 Cor 11:1). Paul labored like and for Christ, because he appreciated that Christ Jesus had made him his own (Phil 3:12).
So, let’s take a quick tour through these virtues and ask a series of heart-searching questions:
1. Would younger men find me sober-minded? Do I demonstrate temperance? Am I free from excess in anything that might hinder clear thinking about spiritual matters? Am I morally steady?
2. Would younger men find me dignified? Am I an honorable person? Does my life command reverence because I revere Christ? Am I respectable because my conduct commends the worthiness of the gospel?
3. Would younger men find me self-controlled? With the Spirit’s help, am I able to curb desires and impulses that tarnish the gospel and threaten to shipwreck my faith? Do I live for self-gratification, or do I find my soul’s delight in obeying Christ?
4. Would younger men find me sound in faith? Do I have an “of first importance” approach to the Christian faith (1 Cor 15:3-4)? Laying aside lower-tier issues that have been debated for eons, can I be called upon as a man who operates based on the death and resurrection of Jesus?
5. Would younger men find me sound in love? Am I concerned for the welfare of other Christians? Do I cry with the weeping and celebrate with the rejoicing (Rom 12:15)? Do I sincerely carry the burdens of other believers (Gal 6:2)? Do I seek to do good to others (Heb 13:16)?
6. Would younger men find me sound in steadfastness? Am I one who doubts God or clings to him in times of suffering (John 16:33)? Do I trust God is working good and glory in every situation (Rom 8:28-30)? Do I bring joy to the threshold of trials (Jas 1:2-4)? Is my hope in earthly or heavenly rest (Rom 8:18-25)?
Some may feel bruised and battered after working through this list. I certainly hope not! Far from being a harsh rebuke, what we have is an opportunity to see how extraordinary God’s grace is. Besides all these virtues being fulfilled by Christ in our place, God’s grace is also a training grace (Titus 2:12). With lives hidden in Christ (Col 3:3), we exercise the blessings that are ours in him (Eph 1:3; 2:8-10). We train for godliness (1 Tim 4:7).
I do not perfectly demonstrate any of these qualities, but God’s grace is active in my life. It’s active in the lives of the brothers I have the privilege to do life and ministry with. Because God is faithful to his promises, men will grow and become effective in discipling others. But there is a danger in thinking that the task belongs only to the real “Pauls” of our day. That is not the case. The work is mine. The work is yours.
So, older men, as long as God’s grace is working in us both to will and to work for his good pleasure (Phil 2:13), let us be men who are controlled by the love of Christ, no longer living for ourselves but for the one who died and was raised for our sake (2 Cor 15:14-15). Speak truth to your Titus. Pursue godliness for your Timothy. Mature for the good of your Onesimus.