I don’t believe I have ever met a stranger. (Just ask my wife for some embarrassing stories.) I naturally thrive on the social environment at Providence on any given Sunday. It’s like unregulated consumption of social caffeine. I genuinely enjoy being around people. I’m energized by conversation. I want more.
Does this make me an extrovert? Not necessarily. Does it make me a better Christian? Absolutely not.
Pastor Greg kicked off this two-part series with an article covering “introversion” and life in our growing church. Over the past few years, PBF’s membership has grown exponentially, presenting new and innumerable opportunities for spiritual growth for “introverts” and “extroverts” alike.
For quick reference, let us be reminded of a few things Pastor Greg taught us about these social labels:
1. There is no biblical category of “introvert” or “extrovert.” Rather, there is a spectrum of social tendencies—the ends being introversion and extroversion with varying shades in between.
2. These labels are appropriate to use as long as we understand that what we’re really observing is different human tendencies that outside of the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit will be used for selfish ends.
3. Such labels may be helpful if used as shorthand for generalizations that may not be true for absolutely everyone on a particular side of the social spectrum.
4. Labels are not helpful when embraced as an identity. The believer’s identity is exclusively in Christ (Gal 2:20).
So, what about those with extroversion tendencies?
Let’s be clear about what these tendencies are. It has already been mentioned that there are no biblical categories for the sides of the social spectrum. In fact, the terms “extroversion” and “introversion” were coined by Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung, to describe patterns of how people function in social situations. (There is also a third category designated “ambivert.” To varying degrees, this label encompasses traits from both sides.) When someone says, “I’m extroverted,” likely communicated is:
“I look for and enjoy opportunities to work in large groups of people or strangers.”
“I am comfortable initiating conversation, no matter the group size.”
“Social scenes fuel my desire for more socializing. I am excited by social interaction.”
“I find it quite easy to make friends.”
“I am happy when called upon to take the lead with a given task.”
“When and where conflict arises, I prefer to talk through the issues without delay.”
“I am comfortable initiating conversation, no matter the group size.”
“Social scenes fuel my desire for more socializing. I am excited by social interaction.”
“I find it quite easy to make friends.”
“I am happy when called upon to take the lead with a given task.”
“When and where conflict arises, I prefer to talk through the issues without delay.”
Mirroring Pastor Greg’s statement, when it comes to those with extroversion tendencies at Providence:
We need to recognize tendencies and preferences, noting how they may impede our service to others.
When visitors arrive on any given Sunday, we might do well to couple our eagerness to greet them with a resolve to help a member with introversion tendencies develop a visible welcoming spirit. This requires strategy and striving. It’s not easy to limit natural impulses and it takes time to formulate a plan for growth. It also takes repetition to create healthier social habits. But the payoff is remarkable. Visitors are warmly welcomed, and both those members with extroversion or introversion tendencies are striving side by side to serve the Lord more fully by serving others well.
When identifying those who are on the periphery of church life—either by hurt or lack of acclimation—it is all the more imperative for members with extroverted tendencies to employ the blessing of learning from those trending toward the other side of the spectrum. It is generally understood that “introverts” exhibit better listening skills. In contrast, it is generally understood that “extroverts” tend toward impulsivity. In the above scenario, an “introvert” is linking arms with an “extrovert” in order to develop a more visible welcoming spirit. In the immediate scenario, the “extrovert” is employing the help of an “introvert” to be a more effective communicator. Instead of jumping in to make conversation happen, it might serve us extroverted types well to slow our speech and craft it in such a way to draw out the experiences of others. The effort required to do this might actually serve as a safeguard to keep us from habitually surrounding ourselves exclusively with other extroverted personalities.
There is interplay between limitation and pursuit, humility and striving. And all social types need all social types. In other words, all members at Providence Bible Fellowship need all members of Providence Bible Fellowship to maintain Christ-honoring fellowship. It’s about leveraging and overcoming some of our tendencies for the good of others.
Perhaps another domain in which those with extroversion tendencies would do well to take inventory is contribution in classes and prayer gatherings. Eager participation is a blessing to those in attendance. Poor participation can result in dullness and a lack of being built up by one another. But sometimes an imbalance in participation occurs, meaning only a few people consistently volunteer answers or offer to pray. The motives are undoubtedly varied.
Trending toward extroversion, I have offered my share of comments to fill the “awkward silence.” But I also think I’m learning the beauty and benefit of slowing my response time. This takes intentional striving and even feels painful at times, but in order to mature together I need to leave space for those with introversion tendencies time to process and wrestle through their own growth in participation. To the best of my recollection, I can’t think of a time when I did not benefit from waiting. Instead of feeling superior for “helping” my “introverted” friends, I am humbled and joyful in being encouraged from varying perspectives and personalities. Slowness in speech has led to others being encouraged to participate and me getting over an impulse to share what I often deem as highly necessary to communicate. This does not mean we should feel guilty for wanting to contribute. By all means, do so. Just do so with an added desire to see others balance the level of participation.
It’s kind of a dance, isn't it? Not too much here, not too little there. But more than working on the steps, it’s about the heart of the matter. The key really is to approach life with the church asking, “how can I love the people around me?” It’s extroverted personalities moving toward introverted personalities (and vice versa) to ensure the Lord is worshiped rightly. It’s loving our neighbor. It’s life together. It’s biblical:
Eph 4:15-16 (ESV): Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
No matter where you land on the social spectrum, there is likely work to be done. As we continue to be blessed with numeric growth at Providence, what might the Lord have you do to contribute to its overall health? Whether striving to participate more or slowing to become a more helpful participant, who might aid you in the process? Let us be a people who refuse anything that would hinder unified growth. The Lord is worthy of all praise, so let us capitalize on growing as disciples as we make disciples.
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